The Red Hatchback

I've been reading Julia Cameron's The Right To Write (which I highly recommend), and have been writing more recently. Here's something I wrote this morning, based of course upon William Carlos Williams' "The Red Wheelbarrow." In the same visual form, it hardly does justice to a red hatchback, but it's interesting to ponder. It was originally a red sedan, but thinking back, the car actually is a hatchback, so it's easier to enjamb than "sedan." And yes, I was looking at a red car parked behind my house, in exactly this setting.

The Red Hatchback

so much depends
upon

a red hatch
back

blazed with sun
light

beside the white
garage.

Perhaps if I inverted the lines, it would make more visual sense.

so much
depends upon

a red
hatchback

blazed
with sunlight

beside
the white garage.